“He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of every pore.”
- Freud

In 1967 a researcher by the name of Albert Merabian discovered that communication is mainly non-verbal and the actual words we use only account for 7% of the total message.

38% of communication relies on our vocal utterances or voice tone and a staggering 55% of our communicating messages to one another face to face, is done visually, through body language.

Body language is defined as communication via the movements or attitudes of the body and dates back to the beginning of time, when we had no verbal language. Body language is also the most widely used and universal of all the languages. As children we learned that when we have no words, we use our body to exchange messages through non-linguistic means, this is known as non-verbal communication.

So what does this all mean when it comes to approaching customers?

Well, imagine if just out of the blue and with no prompting, a customer turned around to you and spat: “Look don’t bother me now, I am only browsing, I will call you if I want your help!” How would you respond? If you were well trained and experienced you might respond calmly with ”Sure. No worries, I’ll be back to check up on you in a few minutes."

The fact is that according to Albert Merabian’s research the customer was sending you that very strong message even before they opened up their mouth. The key question is, did you read it? So what do you do if the customer is sending you "don’t bother me now" non-verbal signals?

Top retail sales professionals will tell you that the trick is to read the customer's body language and rather than slink off into a corner away from them, respond pro-actively, almost as though they’d told you to “get lost” to your face, with a cheery, “ I can see you’re happy to browse on your own, absolutely no worries, I’ll be back to check up on you in a few minutes” This takes the pressure off the customer and at the same time it puts you in control as well as letting the customer know that you’ll be back.

Become a student and practice the art of reading non-verbal communication, not just when approaching the customer, but right the way through the sales process. Remember that the customer is always sending you signals telling you what they want…you just need to learn how to read them.

“There are no failures — only feedback."
- R. Bandler

My youngest son was handed some wonderful wisdom by his year 2-class teacher. He was taught that making mistakes is how we learn, and that learning from our mistakes, makes the mistake “good!” I hope that as he grows older he will hold on to that philosophy because life is full of “miss takes”, learnings and corrections.

On a movie set the director will call “Cut!” if they believe that the performance was not quite what they were looking for. After some instructive guidance the director will start filming again and one of the stagehands will appear before the camera, clapboard in hand and shout, “Take 2!” This process will continue with as many miss-“Takes” as the director feels they need in order to capture the moment they are looking for. Miss takes are not failures they are simply learnings along a journey, until we get it right.

I remember reading once that “children do not despise a bubble because it burst. They immediately set about blowing another one.”
Growing up into adults however, we have somehow linked up that to mess up is criminal. Failure is bad. We tell ourselves, “When I fail to achieve what I set out to accomplish, I have failed and that makes me a loser.”
We must understand the law of making movies, “We make miss -takes. We are not our mistakes”
On the way to learning how to do it right we are all bound to do it wrong.

Doing it wrong is not the issue, not persevering with a view to learning how to do it right, is.We need to analyse our “miss takes”, not wallow in them.

When you attempt many of the techniques covered in my book Bulletproof your Sales Team they will not work first time, all the time. They do work; you just haven’t yet made them work for you. Maybe you are too focused on working the “art” before you have bedded down the “science”

I love sales because we get instant feedback as to what’s working and what’s not as regards our persuasion skills. The response from our customers tells us what we need to keep as part of our persuasion repertoire and what we need to improve or get rid of. Results don’t lie!

Dr Phil has a wonderful question he asks his “on stage patients,” “How is it working?” In most cases the reason that they are on his show is because what they are doing is not working. No matter how they try to rationalise and argue for their behaviour, he just keeps asking, “How is it working?” “What sort of result are you currently getting?”

The same is true for us in sales, “How is it working?”

How is it working getting customers to open up?

Are you still getting “no thanks; I want to think it over; it costs too much etc. etc.?” Are you creating sales or are your customers simply buying?
How are your sales results?

Understand that whatever result you are currently achieving, it is simply “feed back!” The key question we should be asking of ourselves is not whether we are doing it right - rather we should be asking ourselves if what we are doing is working or not working. It’s not a case of right or wrong; rather it’s a case of working or not working.

The martial art of Aikido looks at failure as a discovery process. The Aikido approach to discovery is, “Discovery perceives no right or wrong only inquiry and creativity.” Simply put, this means that there is no failure, only an enquiry as to what worked and what didn’t, and then to use of our own creativity to create or find a more effective approach.

So stop taking your “failures” personally and start taking some personal responsibility for recognising what is working and what isn’t. Take the feedback on board and try something different. As the saying goes “if you keep doin what you been doin, you’re gonna keep getting what you’re getting!”

So today I challenge you, as you go through your day, be a scientist, be a reporter, be a detached analyst, be an impersonal observer and simply observe what works and what doesn’t. Observe yourself at work without being trapped into the “drama”. Watch yourself, take note of others and transform your miss-takes into takes!

Oh by the way, one last thing: if you’re going to be one of the great ones in sales then you’d best learn that you cannot be loved by all people, all of the time. You will not win every time. Robert Kiyosaki, of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" fame suggests you abide by a powerful philosophy with regards needing the approval of others, he writes, “What you think of me is none of my business - what I think of myself is more important than what you think of me!”

Have a great day!

”The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; they pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose.” Kahlil Gibran

One of my first motivational teachers was Zig Ziglar ( Zig has a great free library of positive and uplifting podcasts).

In discussing optimism versus pessimism Zig introduces the following analogy: “Imagine that you were on a deserted island with another person. Imagine also that you had a ruptured appendix and a pocketknife. Your fellow survivor has to perform a crude and rudimentary operation. Would you rather have a pessimist or an optimist as the makeshift surgeon?

The pessimist might sound something like this. “I don’t know if I can do this. You’re most likely going to die anyway. Even if I were able to perform this insane act, you would most likely bleed to death. The more I think about it the more stupid this whole idea is. I am just not cut out for this kind of thing”.

Whereas the optimist might say something like “look even though there are no guarantees on how this is going to turn out, I am going to give it my absolute best shot. Even though I have never done anything exactly like this before, I know how to slice a turkey and my sewing is pretty dam good too. The more I think about this the more I am sure we’ve got a good chance. Let me start by sterilizing the blade.”

Whilst the above analogy is somewhat farfetched, the principle is clear. An optimist attitude will accomplish what a pessimist won’t. “Pessimism never won any battle,” reflected Dwight Eisenhower.

The power of optimism as a success tool has been well researched and documented. In 1991 after years of detailed research on the power of optimism Dr Martin Seligman, a cognitive psychologist, wrote his in the influential book Learned Optimism, no longer was “the power of positive thinking” simply motivational hype. Seligman actually offered scientific data to back up what the motivators have known for years. Being positive is a key ingredient for success.

One of the most powerful insights from Seligman’s research is the suggestion that people are "innately optimistic.” Optimism is not a trait inherited at birth, rather optimistic people have developed specific tools and have trained themselves to overcome life’s hurdles. This means that we too can train ourselves to be more positive. There are many optimism self-tests you can take on the Internet to test your current level of optimism. Simply go to your favorite search engine and type “optimism test”. Most of the ones you will find are adapted from Dr. Martin Seligman's Learned Optimism book. This will provide you with a “current reality” result and give you a good place to start your campaign to becoming more positive.

The bottom line is that if you want to be effective as a sales person working in retail or anywhere else, being positive is not simply a “nice to have” it is an essential skill. So follow the advice of one of the great sages of positive thinking Dr Norman Vincent Peale “Throw back the shoulders, let the heart sing, let the eyes flash, let the mind be lifted up, look upward and say to yourself ... nothing is impossible!“

Norman Cousins wrote, "No one is smart enough to be a pessimist "

In tough economic times when life seems filled with a continuous stream of doom and gloom it’s kinda hard to stay positive. The most practical thing you can do for yourself to ensure you remain insulated from the negativity is to:

1. Turn of your TV and turn on TED.com instead (or any other inspirational webcast you can find)

2. Turn off your car radio and fill your car with learning. Download positive and helpful podcasts and listen to them. Here are a few of my sales favourites:
www.salesroundup.com
www.eyesonsales.com
www.millerheiman.com
www.spisales.com
www.cnet.com
www.hardtofindseminars.com
www.podfeed.net- The Advanced Selling Podcast
www.sellingtobigcompanies.com/content_display.jsp?top=8494&mid=19565

3. Read uplifting literature. The bookstores and libraries are full of them

4. Hang out with positive people

5. Avoid the Negative Ned’s and Nancy’s of the world like the plague.

6. Take responsibility for the real-estate between your ears and ensure that only the good stuff goes in...

Whenever I begin a training seminar or workshop, I share this great little story with the group because it helps to settle them as well as myself, knowing that no matter what happens as a result of the time invested together, it would all turn out for the best.

“This Is Good!” by Dan Smith
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day, the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"
"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you!"

Remember that: “Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out” Anonymous